Martha Martha Martha

When Martha Stewart verbally body slams the first contestant out of the running of her version of "The Apprentice," she'll substitute 'The Donald's' (ew) trademark "You're fired!" with the less catchy, "You just don't fit in". Huh? You just dont fit in? That's hardly a body slam - that's more like a finger flick to the forehead. Annoying, but inconsequential.

Given that Martha is a perfectionist - i can't actually believe that this is the trademark phrase she'll be hissing at her contestants on a weekly basis. I've taken it upon myself to give Martha a few options, something to think about while she's jerry-rigging her ankle monitoring system to the hind leg of her sleeping chow.

I'm sorry Kaitlen, but:

Your souffle fell flat

Your dogwood won't be blooming this Spring

Your potpourri simply isn't fragrant enough

The stitching on your tea kettle cozy isn't straight

Your jelly jar candles will not be lit

Your french ribbon wreath won't be hung this christmas

Rather than sound like the social chair at sorority rush - sorry heather, you just don't fit in - she can channel jeff probst and with a large bedazzled spatula in her hand she can announce "The WASPs have spoken - please return your monogrammed oven mitt and leave the Hamptons immediately".

Has a nice ring to it - don't you think...

Playing hostess

It's been a while since i've posted - completely forgot to write about the great weekend i had with Matt and Jeremy while they were out visiting. We had such fun! They arrived on Thursday and we made plans to have dinner on Friday night - as they put it - a glamorous dinner. And we did. They came over for cocktails first - we chatted - caught up - drank wine and nibbled on cheese. Dinner was at 7:30 so we had to grab a taxi and head to the Clift Hotel - it's an ian schrager property - think the royalton - the paramount - the sanderson - very chic - very glam - very fun.

Dinner was at Asia de Cuba - and we were seated right next to the opening to the Redwood Room. One of my favorite bars - gorgeous and dark - with tons of beautiful people. We were seated immediately - and had a great view of what was going on in the bar - as well as the restaurant. Matt and i love the tunapica - so we had to order - we also ordered the lobster ravioli and another delicious appetizer. For dinner i had the cuban spiced chicken and jeremy had - hmmm - what did jeremy have? I can't remember. Well, regardless - we all shared - and gossiped - caught up - drank and had a great time.

I asked the host to make sure we could get a 'living room' section in the Redwood room for after dinner drinks. They, as usual, came through so we wouldn't have to stand with the masses. After dinner - we ventured over to our seats in the bar - ordered a bottle of veuve clicquot - and settled back for some of the best people watching in SF. Hot boys and sexy girls are just littered all over that bar. There is something very cool about watching that whole spectacle - all the preening - the posing - the jockeying for position - literal and otherwise.

We talked about rich and his impending trip west (labor day weekend) - if i was in love (definitely yes) - when i was moving (a few short months) - was i nervous (yes and no) - do i ever miss matthew (um, who?) - and so on. We sat for about another hour - finishing our champagne...it was a great night. We made plans to go shopping the next day - jeremy had never been to SF before and i wanted to show him around. I promised to call them when i woke up and blew them kisses as my cab pulled away. I got home somewhat late - close to midnight - and called rich. We talked and i told him about my evening and tomorrow's plans. I fell asleep with his voice in my ear.

I woke around 11ish the next day - alcohol never gives me a solid sleep and i probably tossed and turned the last few hours. I called rich - took a couple advil - and then called the guys to see what was going on. We decided that i would pick them up - and we would head to Union Square for a little shopping. We hit gucci first - then dior - then i bought 2 pair of shoes - and two tops at Zara. Then to Nike town for jeremy - he was fiending for this coveted pair of shoes - something 95 - they only released like 900 globally and he HAD to have them. Well, they didn't - but the salesgirl suggested a boutique up the street that might - 'might' - have them - another suggestion was to try the Haight. Then we went to saks and Victoria's secret - we also stopped for a coffee. So we decide to hit the boutique in search of the shoes - and if they didn't have them - then we'd head to the Haight. Mind you, i can't stand the Haight - it's full of homeless kids and ratty old hipsters, dirty hippies who won't give up the summer of love - it basically looks like every day is laundry day in the Haight. Whatever missmash wornout crap that's in the back of your closet - throw it on - you'll look fine.

But i digress - we end up finding the shoes at the boutique - thank god, i'm out of having to drive to the Haight - but then jeremy says he wants to go - to see if they can find another pair. So, off we go. Jeremy is just chuffed to bits (love my london friends - always teaching me fun little sayings) with his new purchase. We drop him off in front of a skaterish store and try to find parking. We we meet up again - that store didn't have them - but others were suggested to him. So we're off - walking around - stepping over the skater kids asking for change - stopping to check out the giant legs positioned above a boutique - taking it all in - we had fun actually. There's definitely a lot to look at. Jeremy was unable to find another pair - so we ended up heading back to the car after a lovely serenade by the hari krishna walking up and down the streets - with their conga and tinkling finger simbals.

We head to chinatown for dinner - end up at a little place - Yeut Li i think - we ordered masses of food and ate until we could barely walk out the door. I dropped the guys off - gave them kisses and hugs and drove back home. They headed to Napa the next day and then drove to LA the following day. Had dinner at the Ivy - so jealous - love the Ivy. But i'm glad they had a great time and it was awesome having them here - showing them around - and letting them see why i love my city so much. You just can't beat it, well, except for NY...

Now and then

Christina Aguilera, never one to shy away from her feelings about her pop rival Britney Spears has basically stated that Britney's career is over..."she's let herself go - I can't see a comback in the cards". Ouch.

Have to side with Christina on this one...hard to believe this is even the same girl - what a difference a year and a white trash husband make:

Christina on the other hand, looks fabulous!

The new car

I've been asked to share and show a picture - so here it is - my new baby:


It's gorgeous - i dig it. Haven't named it - although my 4 year old nephew sammy thinks i should name it Mustafa - told him i'd think about that one.

Meow - K

Finally, a bit of good news

I had to say goodbye to Betty, my beloved BMW, on Tuesday and clear her of all my belongings in order for the insurance company to come and tow her away. SO sad. I was in the process of getting a new car - narrowing down my choices of what i wanted to test drive when i was hit 10 days ago. While i loved my car - i knew it was time to buy something newer, safer and under warranty. But this is not the way i wanted to see Betty go - smashed up - on a lift - headlight hanging out - hood bent and side crumpled from impact. I would have loved to have seen her go to someone who would have taken care as i did - or as a trade in - not as a conduit for salvaged parts. So, i gathered up my 'things' - laundry detergent, a pink pashmina, tokens for the driving range, some CDs, a pair of stilettos, a picnic blanket, etc - sat in her 1 last time - ran my hands along the steering wheel, told her i was sorry (yes, i actually did that) - and walked away. That was so hard - and i'm such a girl for getting attached to my car like that.

I took a few photos - i've posted 1 below...


But this is not a sad story, yes, Betty is gone, but - BUT - i did buy a fabulous Mercedes and i'm totally and completely thrilled with it! It's gorgeous - silver on silver - 4 door - all the 'bells and whistles' imaginable - as one of my girlfriends said 'it's sooooo you'. I'm still a little skittish driving - but that will pass. I love my new car! YAY me. :)

Other great news - i did get asked to officially join the Board of Directors for the league of museums in SF. I'm so excited! We're planning a huge gala event on Oct 22. It's the grand reopening of the De Young Museum after months of renovation - cannot wait! I'm on the 'celebrity and entertainment' committee as well as another and since i have the most event planning experience of the entire Board - i'm helping with the overall planning of the event.

Other than the usual adventures at work - all is well. Rich is coming out here at the end of the month - for a week - everyone is so excited to meet him! I can't wait to introduce him to all my friends, and especially my family. I'm planning a roof deck cocktail party - so we can all hang out and he can meet my dearest friends. Had dinner with Kevin last night at a place we all love - called Izzy's - great steaks ( i had the drunken shrimp as i'm not a meat eater) - and we talked and caught up - i picked him up at his place so he could check out the car - and we went to Balboa for a glass of wine - said hi to our Mayor who happened to be having cocktails next to us - he's always at Balboa - and then made our way to dinner. I'm supposed to go have ice cream with sammy, my sister and dad tonight - but i've decided to stay in and chill out.

Not much else to report - so i'm off. Meow - K