Monday, January 31, 2005

Musings - part II

I've been really into drinking tea lately - specifically the Wild Sweet Orange tea that Tazo Tea makes - it's so good (and caffeine free - i don't drink anything with caffeine) - it's just delicious. I've also been drinking green tea a bit - not a huge fan - but it's not terrible. I have a cup of chamomile next to me now that i'm letting cool - it tastes like pot pourri flavored wood chips - definitely not a fan of this... it's wretched actually. It just went into the garbage. Awful. I think i'm going to need to bring my own tea to the office - easiest to avoid another wood chip incident.

I recently saw the Baccarat Frivole necklace - the Primavera edition - wow - so unbelieveably's a limited edition of 100...and i can see why - so stunning - dainty and feminine - simply gorgeous. I also love their Galet ring and the butterfly and heart necklaces. Lovely. If you get the chance go to their website and take a peek. I think they also have crystal warming stones, if i remember correctly - in the shape of animals - a rabbit, a bear, a cat - their sole purpose is to warm the hands - how decadent is that...i think i'll get my mom the rabbit for mother's day.

I'm making my plans and reservations for NY - can't wait. Such fun. I may stay an extra day given that it's President's weekend and we have monday off - that would be phenomenal. Reconnected with my girl friend Lani - she and her fiance (getting married on March 5) - live in Brooklyn - i think we're going to meet for cocktails when i'm back in a few weeks. She's so excited that i'm moving - so great to know i'll have some wonderful girl friends in NY when i finally move there in the fall. I'm also looking into joining the museum, ballet, symphony, opera leagues - doing the same sort of charity/art/culture party & fundraising circuit that i do in SF in NY. I think that will give me a sense of balance and continuity - which reminds me - wine tasting charity event at the W this thursday - can't forget that...

Have to run - conference fun fun


Sunday, January 30, 2005

Where does the time go

It's sunday night - it always goes entirely too quickly. I woke this morning thinking that it was Monday - momentary panic while i reached for the alarm clock - and then fell back into the pillows realizing it was Sunday...ahhh. I curled back up under the covers and fell back asleep for several hours only to be brought out of my sleep with the sound of my phone ringing and rich on the other end. I love hearing his voice in the morning.

I spent the day relaxing and running some errands on Chestnut Street - got a mani/pedi - went to Two Skirts and bought a darling little cashmere sweater - got my hair cut - then went to my sister's house where my mom and dad were watching the babies - hung out for a while - played with the little monkeys - then left when they got home. Went to dinner last night with Kevin and Dilly to a great steakhouse called Izzy's - while i don't eat red meat - i'll still go - they have great shrimp - mmmm - dinner was amazing - had 3 glasses of pinot noir and came home - comfortably buzzed - and called rich to hear his voice and tell him i love him.

Rich and i both had to go through a lot to find eachother - and while he always says that he wishes the past 2.5 years hadn't happened - for him - i'm glad they did - certain things happen in your life and teach you - what you want - where you want to be - and who you want to be with...we both had to go through hell (or varying degrees therein) to get where we are today - and i wouldn't trade it - and i know he wouldn't either. We've found eachother - and that's all that matters.

I love this man - and if we both had to deal with difficult (that's putting it nicely) people to get to 'now' - then it was worth it...i've never felt more loved - i've never been more content - i've never felt more at home in his arms - i can definitively say - i'm the happiest i've ever been.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Dammit to the Nth power

Last night while driving home i was on a conference call to Singapore - my position is going 'global' - love that - i hear the shopping there (and HK) is to die for...but i digress - upon arriving at home - my apartment seems unusually still - quiet - and dark - as i go to turn the hall light on - flick - nothing - no lights - flick flick - flick flick flick. Huh. Nothing. I drop my work bag (gorgeous large croc bag) in the hallway and head to the kitchen - i now go to turn the kitchen light on - flick - hmmm - flick flick - nothing - no lights...dammit. I search my kitchen for my handy flashlight - it's no where to be found - dammit again - so i light a candle and head for the fuse box. On off on off on off - i hit all the fuses - still nothing. I head to the living - AH-HA - the cable box is on - i try the tv - it works - i head for the lamps - flick flick flick - all go on - and i'm bathed in soft pink light...but what the hell - power to only half of my apartment? What is going on...i quickly check the bathroom light - flick flick - nothing...dammit yet again.

I call PG&E (pacific gas & electric) - tell them to get to my place pronto and find out what is going on. I go into the kitchen again - light some candles - and notice that the clock on the gas stove is blinking as is the clock on my cd player - hmm - power to only certain parts of my home - very odd. PG&E come by - check - recheck - turn on and off my power over and over again - the only thing they can come up with is a faulty breaker. Lovely. They know what is wrong -
and how to fix it even - but they won't. I need to call an electrician. Fabulous. There goes my planned evening of some at home spa treatments and relaxing...

I walk across the hall to the bldg manager's apartment - who happens to be my landlord's son - and a doctor - so to catch him at home is a rarity - and of course - this is one of those times where he's not home. Fabulous. It's getting late and i'm getting tired - so i hop in the shower (interesting to shower by candlelight without someone else to share that rather romantic moment with...dammit squared) - dry my hair - call my honey and proceed to fall asleep. Ahhhhh. I'm suddenly and rudely brought out of my blissful slumber by the pounding beat of dance club music and peals of girlish drunken giggles in the apartment below me. I'm thinking - hmm - maybe it's 6ish and they're heading to Tahoe early - um no - it's 2:30 and they guy below opened up a make shift after hours lounge for his drunken friends - lucky me.

Now - as i try to incorporate the pounding beats into my attempt at getting back to sleep i can't - i can hear every word they're saying and i can feel myself getting upset. I have to work - i have major deals closing today - i need this sleep. And it seems i'm not the only who feels this way...i can hear loud knocking on their door - and either they're ignoring it or they're too drunk to distinguish it from the base line in the goes on for some time - and i don't know if they left or if i fell back to sleep - successfully integrating the thumping beat into a sleep inducing rhythm. I wake this morning - not so fabulously fresh (i'm seriously considering Botox) - and attempt to dress - do you know how hard it is to decide what to wear when you can't see your clothes and when your entire wardrobe consists of black - not easy - i then make a slap dash attempt at makeup and head for the door - once again trying the light switches - flick flick flick ... dammit. I call my landlord today - schmooze her for a bit - speak italian to her briefly - tell her about my predicament - she promises to call an electrician and have this taken care of. Wonderful. Perfect. Molto Bene Luciana.

I go about my day - close 2 deals - get aligned with 2 more - talk with my honey - make plans for the weekend - talk with my sister - usual stuff. I head home - it's still raining - field a few work and play phone calls and then pull into my parking spot - run into a neighbor - we discuss the Dance Party USA that we were all subjected to and head upstairs. I open the door and know immediately - the electrician wasn't there and i still have only half power. I call Luciana again - refrain from the schmooze and ask why this wasn't taken care of. She gives me some excuse - she was out - didn't get their call - something of the sort...i explain to her that it wasn't acceptable - and that i expect an electrician first thing in the morning. I think she understands. I've had to throw out much of the contents of my refridgerator - i'm not one to chance it - and i'm actually worried about the champagne i have in there - i hope it's not ruined - I knew i should have cellared it at my sister's house. Dammit once again...

Rainy day

It's been raining all day - on and off - torrential downpour to an almost mist - i love it. There was something about the rain today - the way it smelled that reminded me of spending my childhood summers at our house in Hawaii. It's so beautiful - 1 block off from the beach in Kahala on Oahu - gorgeous corner lot with a huge swimming pool and even larger gardens on the grounds surrounding the home. The entire back of the house opens up via large sliding glass walls - so dramatic - yet retaining an 'island' feel. We used to go swimming at midnight - in the dark - and all you could see were the millions of stars and the tops of the palms swaying in the breeze. I had gardenia bushes right outside my window - and the smell would waft into my bedroom in the early morning - i have to say - it's the loveliest way to wake. All summer long we would swim and play - hang out at the Outrigger with our 'summer' friends...i can't imagine a nicer way to spend summer as a child. I have the best memories from those days...i'm so glad it rained today.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

It's a long way home

I'm supposed to be in NY right now - i should be laying on the bed in my suite at the W - watching rich watch me through the french doors that open onto the terrace. I love his eyes on me - he has such lovely eyes. And hands - i love his hands. They feel so good against my skin. God i wish is was in NY right now. It's never been this good with any other man - there is something so right about rich - something so perfect about us together. He amazes me. He's home.

I know of so many girls who just don't get it - who put up with ridiculous things because of insecurity or lack of self respect and confidence... that is not something you can find in a man - you have to be happy with who you are before you should venture into a relationship. I know myself - my likes, my dislikes - what i want and what i need - what i'm willing to do - and who i see myself with. It was almost immediate with rich - we clicked - neither of us were looking for anything. He had just gotten out of a bad relatoinship - broke off his engagement with some girl - i had been in a very long relationship - had mended that breakup - and was ready - but not looking for someone. We just started talking - IMing - emailing - and it turned into this amazing 'thing' that neither of us has any control over. For all the years i dated my ex - i never felt the way i do about rich...

I could never be one of those girls who waits by the phone for a boy to call - it's pathetic - go out and live your life girls - you'll be much more interesting to a boy once you finally do meet one if you actually have a life instead of waiting for a boy to give you one. Be your own person - don't wait for someone to define who you are. Have an opinion - be adventurous - try new things - be it a restaurant - a sexual position (yes please -meow) - or cliff diving in sao fun - be happy - smile - wear sexy panties - show up to his place naked underneath your winter coat (not suggested for a first date...), laugh a lot, wear lipgloss and your hair down, wear high heels - they make your ass and calves look great - be coy and mysterious, and always leave them wanting more...

I'm no expert on love - or life - but i do know a few things ... and being a girly girl is one of them. I know you girls have this in you...go get 'em kitty cats!

Meow - K

Wednesday, January 26, 2005


I'm supposed to be going to a new SF restaurant with Kevin, Dilly et al tonight - not sure if i'm going to go - would rather go get a mani/pedi and then stay home - give myself a facial and relax. That sounds perfect actually. I may just have to do that.

I think it's pretty funny that i got a comment on my blog about finding true happiness at ''. I'm jewish, i'm not a bible-beater and truly know nothing about christianity or catholicism...and even as a jew - i believe i'm more spiritual than i am following an organized religion - i fully and wholly believe in god - and am also incredibly proud of and honored by my jewish heritage - but i don't necessarily believe that i have to stand in a temple or kneel at an alter to pray to him or validate those beliefs. So to whomever told me happiness was at - thanks, but i prefer to find happiness in my own way...

I was supposed to be flying to NY tomorrow morning - sad that i'm not going. I want to be there. I should be there. I'm not pouting anymore - but i still feel rather disjointed - wating for that to pass. I'll have to treat myself to something pretty and decadent this weekend...retail therapy - amen!

A few of the things that i love:

  • Silk patterned pillows from Restoration Hardware
  • The Palmer Ottoman in leather, the Crosby Stool and the Crystal Block Lamps from Williams Sonoma Home - Fine, fine, fine - everything from Williams Sonoma Home - it's all gorgeous - it's too hard to choose
  • The Reidel decanter
  • The Orrefors Pastillo Mini crystal bowl
  • Dyptique candles
  • Cashmere and silk sleeping mask with matching pillow
Those are decadent enough to make me somewhat less pouty at not seeing rich this weekend...


Monday, January 24, 2005

Life gets in the way

I absolutely hate when that happens - when i'm strolling along - happy and content in my life and my surroundings - and my kitten-heeled mule gets stuck in a grate or a crack in the sidewalk and pulls me back to reality...well - today - life was the grate and my trip to NY at the end of this week was my darling prada mule. I've postponed my trip to the weekend after valentine's day - we're both just too busy to make it work this week. Dammit.

I have to cancel another appt with Andre - he will not be happy - you know how temperamental those in-demand stylists can be...dammit again.

I was so looking forward to being in NY - being with Rich (god i love that man). We had dinner plans with friends on friday night - gotham bar and grill i think - and then i believe lunch plans saturday with another group of friends. Hate to disappoint. I wanted to go to Nobu as well. And don't get me started on the shopping - Bendel's - Barney's - Donna Karan - Bergdorf's - so many others - it's just not fair.

I hate to wait - i hate not being able to see him when i want - and i can't believe i won't be boarding a plane thursday morning - and falling asleep in his arms thursday night. While i'm stamping my feet and pouting - it is for the best - we both agree - and we're both disappointed - we want to be together - and it's just distance that is keeping us from that - from being with each other - in a tangible, tactile and enveloping way - daily...

Dammit (again and again and again).

On a happy note - i did talk to my director about transferring to NY and he didn't seem to have an issue with it - i can work out of the NY office - and that the sept/oct timeframe is perfect.

I've also spoken with several friends and they're all putting me in touch with their brokers - to facilitate finding an apartment that is 'me'...hmmm - 'me' apt details include : 1 bedroom with a terrace and a fireplace - renovated with a fabulous kitchen and modern bathroom - doorman building with a full gym on property. I don't think that will be too difficult to find... ;-)

So while i go retrieve my darling little mule from the grate - i'll make sure to gingerly step around the obstacles from now on...

Must get back to work - just got aligned with yet another deal - K

Tired Kitten

I'm tired today - went to bed early last night with Rich's voice in my ear - i love that he's the last person i speak to at night and the first person i hear in the morning - but even with the early to bed last night - i'm still tired.

I have so much work to do - working on 3 different deals right now - and while i've closed over 90 deals since starting in july - and know of only 3 that weren't 'wins' - it's still hard being a girl (and not a manly girl) and telling these men how to win their deals. They don't want to hear it - so many would rather go it alone than embrace what i can do for them. While i am in 'sales' - i'm in 'sales operations' - big difference - i don't do the selling - i do the strategy behind the deals. I tell them the who how and why of these deals and then set them loose on the client...

It's a boys club in technology - and especially in software sales - and it's not easy to break in (same with anything financial - tax and audit - consulting - law). If you look like a girl and act like a girl - then they won't treat you as an equal - but if you look like a girl and act like a guy - they respect you more. I don't have a bunch of crap on my desk - a wild horses calendar (hello admin city) - pictures of kittens and puppies or any of those wretched anne geddes pictures - dried flowers, frames or knicknacks. All that crap screams please don't promote me - please view me as a thanks.

A few rules for surviving as a woman in a corporate shark tank:

Don't ask if you can do something - just do it. If need be - ask for forgiveness later

Don't apologize unless you truly fucked up. You can admit that things could have been 'handled' better - but don't say 'i'm sorry'

Don't fetch coffee (unless that is actually your job) - if you do it once - you'll be expected to do it again

Never admit you can type - just play dumb in that regard

Never - ever - ever cry at the office. It's the fastest way to lose respect and while people might appear to be sympathetic what they're really thinking is 'loser'. I cannot stress this enough - never cry.

Swear - you're a girl - they'll feel more comfortable around you if you sound like 'them'

Ask for what you want - and don't be apologetic - do you ever hear men say they're sorry in a work environment - rarely - don't be sorry for what you want - what deal you want to work on - etc - it shows initiative

Don't say 'i don't know' - say 'i'll find that out' or 'let me look into that' ' - huge difference

Dress for the job you want - not for the job you have


Now, if you don't understand what i just wrote - can you get me a chai latte, thanks...

Those are just my suggestions - to each their own - good luck girls.


Sunday, January 23, 2005

Sip Sip Sip

I thought 'sip sip sip' was more appropriate than 'swoosh swoosh swoosh' as i didn't swoosh at all. But I did sip - quite a bit. It was such a fun weekend! Tahoe is incredibly beautiful - the cabin was fabulous (3 story home with a sauna and a hotub - and literally 100 yards from the ski lift at the base of Heavenly) - and the gambling was entirely too good a time.

I did a little last-minute shopping to prepare for the weekend on thursday (soft pink velour hoodie, silk belt that looks like a man's tie, cashmere socks, and some other yummy things) - and then Kevin, Dilly and Sunny picked me up on Friday around 1pm and we headed up to Tahoe. We got there around 4:30 - stopped at Safeway for some food - and headed to the cabin. Kevin and I picked the 2 bedrooms on the second floor - Dilly chose the loft - and we left the downstairs bedroom from Anna and Shawn and the first floor bedroom for Tony and Michelle - all of whom came later that evening.

We unpacked, started mixing cocktails and waited for the others to arrive. Tony and Michelle showed up first, put their stuff down and joined us for drinks in the living room. After a cocktail they decided to go rent their snowboards that night rather than suffer the morning crowds - so they took off with Sunny to go reserve their gear. While they were out, they went on another food/drink run at Safeway and picked up dinner. When they get back from the trip to the store - Dilly Kevin and i are in the hotub - god did that feel good. The others joined us and once we all got out - had dinner - and a few more drinks - it was off to the casinos!!

We hit Harrahs to play blackjack and roulette - and had fun cheering eachother on. Kevin and i also hit the slots. By the time we all had our fill of cocktails it was around 1am. We cabbed back to the house and said hello to Anna and Shawn who had arrived around 11pm.

The morning came early (for a Saturday) with everyone up and getting their coffee and their ski clothes on. I made a few calls to the Casino spas to see if they could fit me in for a massage and other treatments once everyone left for the slopes. Unfortunately they could only fit me in late or not at all - so i passed on a spa treatment (dammit) and went for a long walk (getting lost was actually fun) - took a hot tub - and a long hot shower. By the time all of that was complete - Michelle came back from snowboarding (her first time - and her last from what she told me) and she and i went back to the grocery store for a final food/drink run - when we returned Kevin had returned and helped us in with our goodies. Everyone else arrived soon after - and we began dinner preparations - tri-tip steak - potatoes - grilled chicken - salad - and appetizers. Once that was finished we all headed back to the casinos.

Kevin decided that we - as a group - were going to take over a craps table - and that we did. I've never really played craps - blackjack is my game for the most part - but i took a spot next to Kevin and he told me what to do each play. I rolled the dice after him...and rolled and rolled and rolled and rolled and made a ton of people a TON of money - including myself. I asked the men next to me (not with our group) - who were winning on nearly every roll when i could stopped rolling - and then said - or nearly yelled - in unison - 'you don't!' - i guess when you're winning as much as they were - you don't want the person who's winning you that money to stop.

But all good things must come to an end...and after a few more 'shooter's - the table went cold and our group moved on to other tables. Eventually we split up - some of us going home and others to another casino. We ended up at this one casino that was so wretched - terrible (not my idea) - and we went to this horrible blues club - ugly people everywhere - when my phone rang (thank god for rich calling!!) i ran out of that club so fast i lost my shoe - haha - i couldn't get out of there fast enough - what a pit. We played a few rounds of blackjack and then Michelle and i cabbed back to the house - Kevin and Tony stumbled in close to 5am...both having made significant 'donations' to several of the casinos around town.

This morning i woke up to the sound of the football game - some playoff thingy is going on - so all the boys were up and gathered around the tv. I cooked breakfast for everyone - scrambled eggs - biscuits - sausage (ick) and home fries - they all seemed to enjoy it. After breakfast i went back to bed for a little nap - talked to rich on the phone for a few - and then gathered my clothes/etc together and we all headed back to San Francisco.

It was such fun. It was a great weekend - so needed. The only thing that was missing was rich.

Must go - too tired to type any more.


Thursday, January 20, 2005

Swoosh swoosh swoosh

I'm Tahoe bound! So i decided to go - Casinos be damned - or my wallet for that matter ;-)

I'm actually really excited and it should a fabulous weekend! Now of course i'm not going to ski - but i am going to lodge the hell out of that resort - meow! I can't wait - going after work to get some darling apres-ski outfits - i'm thinking something with fur trim or a really fabulous Loro Piana cashmere wrap (not like i need another) - something decadent to bundle up in while the others make their way down the mountain. I'll make sure to keep a seat warm for them by the fire...

Kevin and i had lunch today in Palo Alto - a mediocre pasta restaurant (doubtful i'll go back soon) - we were discussing the weekend and i asked about what he expected his 'slope time' would be and he said most likely a half day - and that by the time i woke up - spent some time in the hotub - he'd be coming off the mountain and ready to hit the casinos and start cocktailing. Perfect. My one concern - other than those evil wallet-emptying palaces - was what would i do during the days while everyone was skiing. So good to know that Kevin isn't planning on hitting the slopes too hard. He's always a great partner in crime.

Rich was laughing earlier because i only sleep in nighties and am going to room with Kevin - i suppose i can bring up something more modest for this weekend get-away. I'm glad they're friends so he feels comfortable with the fact that while Kevin may date the majority of the girls in the Marina area in San Francisco - it's a non-issue btwn the 2 of us...

I've decided i'm going to stop beating my self up about (and even attempting to follow) my NYE resolution of spending frivolously - i love to shop - i'm really really good at it and it brings me immeasurable pleasure... i love fashion and designer clothing, gorgeous handbags and stunning jewelry - i can't give it up - it's just too hard. I won't dammit, you can't make me...

Okay - i'm out a bit early so i can hit Neiman's on my way home and beat the rush back to SF...

Meow - K

One last note - did anyone hear of that asinine comment Star Jones made about the Tsunami - that god had spared her life by waiting until after she left the area to hit it with the disaster. Fine - so he spares her yet we all have to suffer because she's still around...good lord - she's horrific.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Light & Breezy

I was a little cranky earlier (thus my earlier post today of things that have been annoying me recently - or just in general) - but that mood has subsided - thankfully - and i'm feeling much better. A little retail therapy never hurts...

I bought my adorable nephew sammy a shirt from Dylan's Candy Bar in NY. When you're on the upper east side of Manhattan - stop by Dylan's it's phenomenal - truly - i mean who wouldn't want to give a friend a 'willy wonka' chocolate bar with the golden ticket inside! I brought sammy back a hat from Dylan's last time i was in NY - but when he saw that i also brought his little (3 months little) brother a shirt - he insisted that i bring him one back the next time i go. Well, the next time i went - i never made it to Dylan's - so i went online this afternoon and bought the shirt for him...

I'm supposed to be going to Tahoe this weekend with a group of friends to go skiing. Well, I don't ski - but i do 'lodge'. My guy friends even joke that i probably have a fake cast for my leg to elicit sympathy and cocktails from the boys coming down off the slopes. Hmmmm, not a bad idea.

Not sure i'm going skiing though - i'm heading to NY the week after - and our cabin (right at the base of Heavenly with a hotub - meow) is entirely too short of a cab ride to the casino's. I shouldn't be near the casino's - i always win a ton of money - and then - wanting to win even more - i end up losing. So - in order to hit the stores in a manner that i'm accustomed to in NY - i best not lose a significant amount of money. Hmmm - blackjack vs. bergdorf - that's a hard choice!

One note to the ladies - i have to say this as so many girls i know these days are having some sort of issue with the men in their lives (or the men potentially coming into their lives) - remember these words: Light & Breezy.

Be light & breezy in emails - on the phone - in person - let them do the chasing - let the boy be the boy - it's so very important. Be mysterious. Leave them wanting more. OOh - and wear yummy perfume and fabrics that beg to be touched like cashmere - velvet - silk. Almost forgot - wear matching bras and panties - i think it just feels better - and trust me - the boys love matching... ;-) -- but most of all - most of all - light & breezy.

Must go - K

Mini Rant

American Idol auditions are pure joy - these people are so wretched.

A few things that bother me:

Asshole drivers who speed across three lanes to pull in front of me and then slow down.

Those scooters with mini lawnmower engines attached to them - not only are they annoyingly loud - but - um - you're on a scooter - how lazy do you have to be to add an engine to it. Can you really not exert the strength to drop your foot those 3 inches and push off the ground to propel you forward? Come on.

Equally as lazy - those motorized lollypops - we're so lazy now that we can't LICK??

People who write checks at the grocery store. Who actually even writes checks anymore? Oh - and if you're going to whip out the check book - at least put the Star Magazine down for a minute while you're in line and make it out so all you have to do is fill in the amount...

Bitchy shop keepers and high-end department store salesgirls - i'm giving you money - try acting like you work there. Jesus - considering how much i spend they should be handing me a cocktail and inviting me to be a bridesmaid in their wedding (mind you - this rarely happens - but when it does - it really pisses me off).

Parents who don't take their screaming crying kicking children out of a restaurant (or bookstore - or whatever) to calm down...

Couples who sit on the same side of the table and have dinner - or hold hands across the table throughout dinner. Good lord - get a life.

Equally as annoying - couples who walk down the street holding both hands - ex: one over the shoulder and one around the waist - her free hand is holding the hand that is over the shoulder and his free hand is holding the hand around the waist - similar to one of those chinese puzzles where you have to get interlocking rings and a piece of rope apart without actually separating them. Unless you're honeymooning - lose this immediately.

People who stop by my office to chat...i don't go to work to make friends - i have a thriving social life outside of work - go away. Now.

Dooney & Burke - what crappy shit is that line of handbags? Good lord - pair one of those with an Ann Taylor suit and woo-hoo - look out - middle management, here i come. Ladies - don't aspire to mediocrity.

And don't get me started on Coach. Same difference - just higher (why??) price point. Boring - so very, very boring.

Girls who have no style but wear all the trends...low rise jeans with ugg boots, a poncho with brooches, a headband and a wristlet purse...come on - where are you in there?

Yawn - i'm tired of ranting - i think i'm going to go buy myself something pretty online :-) yay me!


Monday, January 17, 2005

Surreal Life, confidence and sex appeal

I bought 3 more pair of shoes and 3 new CD's - the new gwen stefani - the newish george michael and jamie cullum (check out track 9 - his version of 'high and dry' - it's awesome). I bought some other things - oh goodness - make that 4 pair of shoes (damn). There is this darling little top at Banana Republic as well that i'm thinking of getting - when my sister and i were shopping on monday (took the car into the shop and 'worked' from home) - we both beelined for the same top - and they have this wrap dress in the same pattern that we both also loved.

I've been watching the newest Surreal Life on VH1 - and wow - Peter Brady (Christopher Knight) looks fabulous! My friend Kelly used to date him - we all went out a few times and i have to say - he was the nicest guy - i remember him being great - and smart and funny - but i don't remember him being sexy like that. The whole Brady thing was a non-topic - no one mentioned it - ever. Well, we never mentioned it - but everyone else did. I remember 1 time we were out and the cocktail waitress ignored all of us except for him - and every time she came by would ask if 'peter' wanted anything. Ridiculous. He was awesome though - very cool guy.

There is something that happens when you grow up - when you become comfortable with who you are - within your own skin - and what happens - at least in my opinion - is that you become infinitesimally more sexy. I think that is what has happened with Christopher Knight - he grew up - he became his own person - became a man - and wow - there's the sexiness. There's a lot to be said for confidence (not arrogance) - it's terribly sexy. Smart is also very sexy - to me - there is nothing sexier than a smart confident funny man. Meow.

Check out my boyfriend's blog - he's also a smart confident funny man...which of couse makes him infinitessimally sexy ;-)

Thursday, January 13, 2005


I've always been fascinated by cults - by the leaders and the followers - how they choose - very specifically - the people who they target - how they woo them into their fold - how they persuade them to give up their family - to give up their belongings - their names and their identity as a cleansing - a rebirth under the guise of religion and commitment to their new 'family'. The leaders are always charismatic - nearly always men - solipsistic ego kings with visions of grandeur and a god complex - which usually translates to massive insecurities and deep seeded unhappiness. The followers are usually seekers - they're lost - on the fringe - looking for something - a place to belong - a 'home' - acceptance and love (which also usually translates to massive insecurities and deep seeded unhappiness). Followers are easy prey - easily identified by those who know what to look for and which buttons to push - shooting fish in the proverbial barrel for most seasoned cult recruiters.

Now - let me take a giant step to tuesday morning - san francisco - hilton hotel grand ballroom - the location of my company's kick-off for their global sales conference - and there you have it - 100's of wide-eyed converts and the soon-to-converted - waving glow sticks in the air - cheering our revenue goal - dancing in the aisles to the tribal beats of what could only be described as some sort of Burning Man tribute - wholly committed to the 'family'. I'd never been to a global sales conference before - i've heard about them - week long Bacchanalia's in vegas and NY and chicago - chest pounding and testosterone-filled - designed to pump the 'money makers' up and set them loose on their new accounts with the fever and determination of my girlie girls at that damned Jimmy Choo sample sale... ;-)

And so i sat there - wide-eyed - in awe - with my glow stick on my lap - and watched as the lights went down - and the Burning Man tribute began - the pounding of the drums - the day-glo painted girls with hula-hoops gyrating to the beat (totally sexy by the way - never thought a hula hoop could be so provocative) - the leather-clad shirtless men twirling their glowing batons (shockingly, not so hot - and considering i was 1 of only a handful of women - surprised the shirtless guys out numbered the hula hoop girls) - the bald guy beat boxing and directing this incredible display. It was pretty amazing. All of this with our company name on the largest screen i've truly ever seen - with flames in the background and our 'deal makers' names flashing above. It lasted about 10 minutes - the pounding beat - the flashing lights - it was cool - so very cool - and it drew me in. I became a convert - i waved my glow stick wildly in the air - i bounced to the beat of the drums and was fixated by the hula hoop girls (mental note - buy hula hoop) - and it worked - it accomplished what it was supposed to - i gave in to it and became part of the 'family'.

No worries though - i haven't been totally indoctrinated - unless Gucci starts designing those flowy robes - i have zero intention of giving myself fully to any 'family' - other than my own - any time soon.


Thursday, January 06, 2005

Frivolous, yet so necessary

This is what i'm talking about with the spending...i have this pair of shoes i love (L.O.V.E.) - they're fabulous - sexy but not too sexy - i can wear them to work but they transition easily into a night of going out - i wear them all the time. They're 3 inch mules with a skinny heel - pointed toe - black lizard with a tiny bit of silver detail in the form of a modern and sleek thin clasp and same black lizard strap that serves no purpose other than to make the shoe interesting.

Now, initially i bought 2 pair - which is normal for me - if i love something i ususally purchase 2 (or more - depends on what it is...) - especially with shoes as i'm rather hard on them and i tend to go for the high sexy strappy numbers rather than something - let's say - more're much more likely to find me at BCBG, Banana Republic, Zara and Bergdorf Goodman than you would ever - say - find me at Ann Taylor. Ann Taylor to me is like Garanimals for adults - if the tag is blue - then it goes with this line - well the same mentality goes for Ann Taylor - if you like this look (dull, shapeless, styleless suit) then we've got plenty of boring shells to pair it with...but i digress...back to my fabulous shoes ;) ... so as i was saying - i initally bought 2 pair. Then - i saw them again and i purchased a third pair (they really are this darling) and then - then - i bought a fourth pair this past weekend. Those i'm not returning.

I stomped all over NY in those fabulous shoes - they look great with my boot cut jeans and equally as fabulous with my little black suit. I'm not a dress/skirt girl (and mind you - rich has been prodding me for months to wear a skirt...he loves that skirt - knee high black boot combo...i think i'll surprise him when i head back to NY in 3 weeks) i'm more of a suit girl. I think they're sexier. Much sexier.

There's nothing better than a fabulous pair of shoes - except maybe...

1. Loro Piana black cashmere throw

2. The Luella bag

3. David Yurman's ice line of jewelry

4. Judith Ripka's entire jewlery line (oh my...seriously OH MY)

5. Andre at the John Barrett Salon at Bergdorf Goodman cutting your hair and giving you all the juicy gossip

6. Opus One 1997 cabernet served in the Reidel "O" series tumblers

7. The Louis Vuitton Lenore bag (love!)

8. The entire YSL spring line - so gorgeous

9. Agent Provacateur lingerie - sexy sexy

10. Jack and Candy's 'Liz' necklace - gorgeous!

Hmmm - i think i have more shopping to do! meow!


Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Daily Candy

Every day when i get to work there are emails from a website called "daily candy" - i get both the CA and NY version - and i have to say - it's the best way to start my morning! They collect the most fabulous tidbits about each city - the newest, most darling shops, the chicest new places to eat, the best places to enjoy/visit/see (hello Jimmy Choo Sample Sale!) and package this little gem in an email complete with hip illustrations and links to the highlighted daily 'candy'. It's truly fabulous! I love this because as busy as i am (despite my recent (and usually regular) shopping excursions) - they do all the work for you - they find these places that i wouldn't necessarily know about and it's like having a really fabulous friend telling you about the coolest new places to go...not too bad ;)

So i went back to those stores - not all - just Victoria's Secret and Nordstrom - and returned the lovely things i bought over the i'm wondering do i get to start my resolution over (it's only been 5 days into the new year) - or have i blown it...something to ponder. I may go back to Saks and take that amber vase back to West Elm as well - but i haven't decided yet. I don't think i have to take 'everything' back - because simply buying one thing isn't frivolous - and i really do love that vase.

Rich and i were IMing today while at work - and i have to say - no one makes me laugh quite as much as he does. He's an amazing man - darling and generous - and i love him so... I can't wait until we get to start our lives together in NY...


Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Broken Resolutions

Good lord - i've already botched my new year's resolutions...well at least 2 of them - the gym and spending frivolously. Now - the gym was really placed on the list as a sort of tip of the hat - - as nod for good measure - to round the list out with resolutions of past years gone unattained...and let's face it - the 'gym' resolution has topped the list for many many years.

Rich called me extrodinarily lazy once - thought that was terribly funny. And it's not so much lazy - as it is i've got so many other things i need to be doing - want to be doing - that the gym is more of a suggestion than an actual resolution.

Now that i've adequately explained my laziness away - on to the actual resolution that i've already botched - frivolous spending. I went on a tiny binge over the last few days. Bought some fab-U-lous things (truly, so darling) - and didn't feel any guilt about it while i was in the midst of it all. But now - looking at the new items in my home - hanging in my closet - sparkling and glittery - i can't help but feel (ever so slightly) that i should take some of my pretty new things back from where they came.

And i can't decide...i love them all. However, in light of my recent resolution (damn new years) i'm thinking the Victoria's Secret purchases can be returned - and the Saks purchases - and the Nordstrom purchase - but that's it. Maybe, mayyyyybe the West Elm purchase. This is terrible.

Did you know that if you purchase something from Victoria's Secret online - you cannot return it to one of their stores? I rudely found that out a few weeks ago. Sorry miss, but we don't accept online returns, we're 3 seperate companies. Well, had i known that i wouldn't have bought the robe. So now i have to pack this robe up (ill fitting - bad pattern - ultimately, not sexy) and send it back before it goes on sale. Not fun.

It's obviously not as dire as i'm making it out to be - i just suppose it would be easier if i hadn't purchased all these yummy things to begin with...


Monday, January 03, 2005

Decisions Decisions Decisions

I've been looking at apartments in NY - Upper EastSide - Upper Westside - Midtown - Soho/Tribeca/Nolita. I would love a loft. It's so quintessentially NY. The exposed brick - floor to ceiling windows - expansive floor plan - renovated warehouses turned into luxurious havens. It's the way i've always dreamed of living in NY. I pretty much go back and forth - from the somewhat bohemian-chic loft dweller to the Park Avenue darling - how do i want to live...

I have no idea which area of NY i want to live in - my boyfriend keeps telling me that i'll be happier in the Upper Eastside or the Upper Westside. He says it's more 'me'. I suppose it is. And i'll be closer to him - which - considering i'm moving across the country to be with him - is a good thing. I can't see moving to NY and then having to take a 20 minute cab ride every time i want to see Rich.

He sent me a NY Post article today stating that the prices of lofts in Soho/Tribeca has sky-rocketed 22% this past year. The average price of a loft - to rent - in that area is around $5000 - and to buy - is over $1.4M. Now, while i do well, I certainly can't afford $5K in rent per month - so i think i'm going to be an UES girl for the time being - a Park Avenue darling. Not too bad...
I'm heading back to NY in 3 weeks - i can't wait - each time i go - i feel more and more at home - more and more like it's my home - like it's where i'm supposed to be. When we first started dating - the idea of moving was so daunting - but the more time i spend with Rich - the less i want to be without him.
I'm the lucky one ** rich, are you reading this baby... ;-) ** - I'm the lucky one!
The future preens and poses
our life together
A glimpse and whisper
In awe of you

Saturday, January 01, 2005

New Year

Yesterday was the last day of 2004. It was an incredible year - on so many levels. It was also an incredibly difficult year. The first half of the year was so hard - but the truly incredible latter half of the year has made those hard times seem so very very distant.

In July, i started with my new job - global client strategy for a software company. I've never been happier - more challenged - or more fulfilled.
In August, my second nephew was born - he's so amazing - such a smart little monkey.
In September, i met my boyfriend - Rich - who lives in New York.
In October, i celebrated with my family the 4th birthday of my nephew Sam and the birthday of my darling and beautiful sister - who turned 38
In November, i spent 5 days in New York with Rich - truly - one of the most amazing times i've ever spent.
In December, i again went to New York and spent 5 days with Rich - went to countless holiday parties - spent Christmas with my family - and New Year's with my dearest friends at Rex's - dining drinking and dancing until the wee hours of the morning.

I owe much of my happiness to Rich. He has given me the ability to believe. He has a way about him - an easiness - a calming presence. I've never felt more at home with anyone than i have him and i can't believe the luck - my luck - to have this man in my life. He thrills me.

I suppose i should make a list of resolutions - things i want to improve/change about myself.

1. Go to the gym consistently (ha - every year this makes (and tops) the list)

2. Spend more time with my family

3. Spend more time with Rich

4. French classes - take the conversational french class - become fluent again

5. Learn to knit

6. Spend less frivolously

7. Be more selfish

I can't think of any more at this time - and while some of those are can't necessarily be considered 'resolutions' - they are things i want to work on.

2005 is going to be an amazing year.