Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Mini Rant

American Idol auditions are pure joy - these people are so wretched.

A few things that bother me:

Asshole drivers who speed across three lanes to pull in front of me and then slow down.

Those scooters with mini lawnmower engines attached to them - not only are they annoyingly loud - but - um - you're on a scooter - how lazy do you have to be to add an engine to it. Can you really not exert the strength to drop your foot those 3 inches and push off the ground to propel you forward? Come on.

Equally as lazy - those motorized lollypops - we're so lazy now that we can't LICK??

People who write checks at the grocery store. Who actually even writes checks anymore? Oh - and if you're going to whip out the check book - at least put the Star Magazine down for a minute while you're in line and make it out so all you have to do is fill in the amount...

Bitchy shop keepers and high-end department store salesgirls - i'm giving you money - try acting like you work there. Jesus - considering how much i spend they should be handing me a cocktail and inviting me to be a bridesmaid in their wedding (mind you - this rarely happens - but when it does - it really pisses me off).

Parents who don't take their screaming crying kicking children out of a restaurant (or bookstore - or whatever) to calm down...

Couples who sit on the same side of the table and have dinner - or hold hands across the table throughout dinner. Good lord - get a life.

Equally as annoying - couples who walk down the street holding both hands - ex: one over the shoulder and one around the waist - her free hand is holding the hand that is over the shoulder and his free hand is holding the hand around the waist - similar to one of those chinese puzzles where you have to get interlocking rings and a piece of rope apart without actually separating them. Unless you're honeymooning - lose this immediately.

People who stop by my office to chat...i don't go to work to make friends - i have a thriving social life outside of work - go away. Now.

Dooney & Burke - what crappy shit is that line of handbags? Good lord - pair one of those with an Ann Taylor suit and woo-hoo - look out - middle management, here i come. Ladies - don't aspire to mediocrity.

And don't get me started on Coach. Same difference - just higher (why??) price point. Boring - so very, very boring.

Girls who have no style but wear all the trends...low rise jeans with ugg boots, a poncho with brooches, a headband and a wristlet purse...come on - where are you in there?

Yawn - i'm tired of ranting - i think i'm going to go buy myself something pretty online :-) yay me!



Boogie said...

Motorized lollipops? I agree...they're silly. Besides, who can resist the lure of a Chupa pop, wet and shiny and ready for more licking? ;-) I guess I prefer old-school manual licking and not the new-style powered licking devices ;-)

Tamara said...

Don't EVEN get me started on motorized lollipops. I mean, can you say fetish stick? Reminds me of when I'm teaching and I tell the kids, "ok, remember, tomorrow you have an oral". In my head I'm thinking, "good gosh I could use an oral exam my damned self".

Hahah, love to make me laugh.